Crash and burn re-entry and Van Gogh's suicide...

I always do a little crash and burn after a big project or event calling it 're-entry.'  My stomach was in knots and I felt out of sorts. Then, I started obsessing about the 12 foot tree I am scheduled to do, and the fact that I bought a tree skirt that I don't  like. But then came the good news from Van Gogh's  grave.

I was watching 60 minutes tonight and there is a new biography on Van Gogh. As some of  you know, I have read just about anything I can get my hands on regarding dear old Vincent. I even tried to read the two volume set of his letters, but I made myself start at the beginning so as to read them in order. To my shame, I found the early letters a little boring. Imagine all of your letters put in chronological order and published. My collection would be a snoozer for sure.

My Vincent 'groupiness' led me to Arles and St. Remy, where Van Gogh was hospitalized and which remains a mental hospital to this day. I visited his room of paintings at Musee D'Orsay on two seperate occasions, and can get misty just thinking about how its four walls create a sense of embrace.

I was touched by how many people come to visit his humble grave. Some people request that their ashes be scattered there. It may sound crazy but I think it's a lovely idea. The biographers discussed what I call 'the ear incident.' Invariably, when I taught about Van Gogh, one of my students would pipe up and ask "Didn't he cut off his ear?" There are couple of interesting theories about the 'ear incident.' Arles, where Van Gogh lived, has a bullfighting arena which was active during his day. Traditionally, a bullfighter gives the ear of the bull to his lady. Vincent had his ear delivered to a woman he and Gauguin were vying for. Also, Van Gogh was obsessed with the story of Gethsemane in which St. Peter cuts off the ear of the high-priest's servant.

The sweetest part of the news story, and maybe it's wishful thinking, involved a new theory about his death. The new biographers wondered where Vincent got a gun, who would have given him a gun as the whole town knew he was crazy, how did he walk so far from the fields to the inn where he died 30 minutes later, and why did he shoot himself in the stomach? On top of that, he told police he didn't want them to accuse anyone. Much of the story didn't add up. The new biography recounts how Parisian boys who vacationed in Arles relentlessly and viscously bullied Van Gogh. The biographers found compelling evidence that the boys either accidentally or intentionally shot him, and he didn't want them to be blamed. That seems so in keeping with his character to me.

While I was watching all this television, I started gluing bottle caps on the tree skirt and it is looking pretty cute, making me feel better. While I worked on it I couldn't help imagining people exclaiming "Oh, they're bottle caps" at the Festival of Trees. My favorite ones are the caps that have initials written on them.