Dale's brush with the law, I love our Police Department, and as the song goes "God moves in a mysterious way....
.... His wonders to perform."
I awakened this morning in an excited happy happy mood which makes me nervous because I always think someone is going to throw a stick into my bicycle wheel or crabapples into my rollerskates. As of today I have lost THIRTY POUNDS on the rice diet. I dared to try on an old pair of my favorite pants, straight-leg mustard yellow corduroys, and they fit! My project is coming together beautifully and the sun is shining. It is Friday, which means in our neck of the woods it is also Recycle Day with bins overpouring with treasure out on the curb for trash-pickers like me.
And it was a glorious day, bountiful with 2 liter soda bottles and green Mountain Dew's despite the tobacco chewing household where I had to leave behind 2 makeshift spitoons, a large (2liter) and a small. I rounded a curve and stopped at a house that sorts! I lofted the white garbage bag full of water bottles into my van and clucked to myself as I stopped two doors down when I noticed in my rearview mirror a gentleman in a fancy black sedan talking with a woman in the bottle sorter driveway. "Should I turn around and thank them? Maybe I should bring them one of my bottle stoppers as a gift and tell them how much I appreciate their meticulous recycling." But when the black sedan started following me I became just a tad concerned. Was I going to be busted for trash stealing?
He passed by me at my next bin stop, rolled down his window, and mafia style said "You know you're not supposed to be doing this?" I replied cheerily "Oh, I'm and artist and I ..." "I don't care. You are not supposed to be doing this and I am going to report you." I thought to myself "No, I don't know that I am not supposed to be doing this and until I do you can eat my dust" and drove on to my next loop of houses in the neighborhood several streets away. I had a hunch there were some 2 liters just waiting to be rescued.
To my surprise, Black Fancy Sedan had followed me. I was undaunted and continued to pick and find several 2 liter bottles including a green one. The black car pulled in across from me and he again rolled down his window: "I am going to report you to the police." I shrugged and didn't react when he pulled out a weapon: his digital camera. If I had had my wits about me I would have striked a pose, but I hate having my picture taken so I just carried on picking the trash at that stop. He took second picture, of my license plate, got into his car and repeated: "I am going to report you to the police!" I shrugged, which must have gotten under his skin because he added :"Don't let me see you in my neighborhood again!" to which I calmly replied:"It's my neighborhood too."
OK, so now I was rattled but I started thinking about the forces in the universe and how the forces for good sometimes invite confrontation from the forces for evil. Not that the man is evil, but after all, he could be feeding the homeless or something instead of stalking an art teacher and mother of four who has been in his neighborhood for over 30 years. I called my sunny friend with whom I had had the most cheerful, hope-filled, glorious conversation just before leaving for my crime spree. She reassured me and reminded me to be kind and a force of love and peace. I was a bit disappointed with the love and peace part. I wanted to post my rage on facebook and call the authorities. I'll call the Press. Heck, I could take a picture of his house! I slowed down, took a deep breath, and called John slobbering with tears. (I was the on slobbering in case there is any abiguity in that sentence.)
We decided I should call the police and explain that I am just an artist trying to serve the community, find out if what I did is in fact forbidden, and let them know that a man had followed me quite a distance, had threatened me, and had taken my picture. I figured it would be good to call while I was still sniffling and taking those weird short weepy breaths you take when you're upset. The nicest woman answered the non-emergency line, listened to my tale of woe, asked if I knew the address of Big Black Sedan and said she would send an officer to my home. I paced. I plotted. Maybe the will warn him. Ha! Then, my Bible started calling my name even though I was pretending not to hear, like you do when you are a kid and your mom is hollering for you to come in from playing.
I read my devotional and paused where it reads : "When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order and control in you little world, relax and remember that circumstance cannot touch My Peace." So I prayed. I prayed knowing that God turns evil to good, just like my bottles turn trash into art. I prayed for the man and for peace between neighbors. I prayed that God would turn this evil into good in a not too painful way. I am wont to say "God only gives what He knows you can handle," and then quickly add "and I told Him from the get-go I can't handle much."
When the police car pulled into my driveway I went out to greet the officer. I was a little concerned that this might prompt him to draw his weapon. Once, when I got pulled over for running a red light (when I had a flat tire and was trying to get home before we were stranded) I started to get out of my van. In my day it was a show of respect. My kids were screaming at me "Mom, Mom, DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR!" which didn't sink in until the officer started saying the same thing from his bullhorn. Not the "Mom, Mom" part. There was no relation. I digress.
I walked down my driveway as officer was just getting out of his vehicle. I thought about offering my wrists in surrender and saying "cuff me" but I was afraid it would be like joking that you have a bomb in an airport. He was on his cell phone saying reassuringly to the party on the other line :" That's OK. Don't let it ruin your day. I have to go. I'm at a house. But , seriously, don't let it ruin your day." He hung up and I blathered "someone just told me the same thing!" boo hoo hoo. Actually, I didn't tear up until I started recounting to him my altercation with Big Black Sedan man. He admired my garden sculpture as I explained that I am supported by my community, that they sponsor me to do the work I do. That as I passed the elementary school this morning I thought to myself "They would have a lot of bottles. I need to contact the art teacher so her students can learn this thing that I do and participate in The Festival of Trees." I invited the officer in to see my trees for Grand Rapids and my upcoming installation at ArtPrize. It was worth every "upsetment' (a friend's coined word that I frequently invoke) to see the look on his face. It was a look of sheer wonder.
As I was explaining the black sedan incident,interspersed with my gushing excitement over my trees, his partner arrived. His look was more one of puzzled astonishment, the kind of face someone has when they open the door and people yell "surprise!" I scrambled to turn the light on in my front studio so they could see the two completed trees in their full glory. " I am so excited to get to show it to you!" I gushed to the officers. I wasn't kidding. Oh, I am so proud of this work.
In the end I found out that if someone puts something out at the street to be picked up it is free game. I confessed that I was not altogether sure that what I was doing was on the up and up, but that I have no criminal record. They asked if I knew the address of Mr. Black Sedan but I did not, and John had warned about letting this escalate. We can't afford new tires if they get slashed. I offered to ride with them to talk to the residents of the house and try to clear the air, but they didn't think that would be a good idea. I guess showing up with two burly armed policemen doesn't evoke 'neighborly visit.' While I didn't know the address, I was able to give them directions with street names which, for any of you who know me and my deft navigating skills, proves I have lived here for thirty years. Then, my new found friends left to see if they could find Black Sedan and explain me and my not so unlawful ways.
As the first police officer, the 'don't let it ruin your day' officer, stepped of of my front porch a light when on in my head. I pointed to my sparkling garden sculpture and said "What I do is for the good," and added passionately "They are a symbol of hope, that something that was trash can be transformed into art." His face melted a little, like someone when they let out a sigh, and he said "do you have a business card?" I went back inside and grabbed my card and a half-finished bottle stopper, offering it to him with the half-joking stipulationg that it wouldn't be considered a bribe. I was in enough trouble already. "My wife will love it" he replied with a gentle smile, " and you have a good day. Call us if you need anything." I promised to 'like' the Altamonte Police Department on my facebook and waved good-bye as they rolled down my driveway and quietly out of our neighborhood.